Who said Rollerblades were out?

http://view.break.com/364734 - Watch more free videos

This is the coolest thing I've seen a person do on wheels. Ever.

Marriage Proposal

This. Is. Amazing.

Oh Japanese Game Shows, will you marry me? The creativity and sheer imagination alone is enough to keep me loving you for years.

Micro-Art

The world's leading micro artist has finally made it big | t...

This artist from the UK can make sculptures that are smaller than pinheads...sometimes they are around the size of a bacterium, and he has to meditate to slow down his heart rate so he can relax enough to mold things that are tinier than the eye can see. You've got to see the pictures to believe them, this is unreal.


Once, he took a breath in just as he was making a sculpture of Alice in Wonderland and he just inhaled her. Nuts!

Being back on campus, it almost feels as if the summer never happened, and if it did, that this occurred in some alternate universe, parallel to this one, because my brain is already so packed full of to-do lists, to-read lists, to-remember lists, to-buy lists, to-love lists, and the like, that thinking back to just a few weeks ago when I was blissfully not as brain overflowing feels like centuries past. Not that that's a bad thing.

The house remains the house, except bigger, longer, and now with more swedes! 13 countries and 15 languages in one house, though, that's impressive, even by the standards of a hardy (or is it hearty) New Yawk-er like me. My Creative Writing professor assigned us journal writing, every day, to be collected at random. I want to sell out and be pretentious and get a moleskine, but those little things are a little too pricey for my tastes. I suppose I cant afford to be pretentious, or if I can, I was raised with too frugal of a mindset to truly consider it.

I guess that means I can't write journal entries.

China. Blow after Blow.

BBC NEWS | Asia-Pacific | Chinese bridge collapse kills 29
I swear to God, China, you've got me on the fence! First I rant in this post and then find an awesome video of your roller coaster grocery stores, fall back in love, and then a flippin bridge collapses. Read the article, it makes our last weeks Minnesotan collapse look like a drop in the lake...

China, Revisited

China, I take back all the mean things I said in the last post. You are completely awesome, just because of this.

Another shining example of Grade A (Not!) Chinese Wares

For a less brash overview, see my other article here.

Chinese manufacturers: Please, please, please cut the crap.
1. Diabetes drugs kill unsuspecting patients in Panama.
2. Pet food recall!
3. Toothpaste scare!
4. Botulism in cans of beans!
5. Faulty tires.
6. Lead paint in Fisher Price for Mattel children's Dora the Explorer and
Sesame Street toys.
7. Toxic cosmetics.
8. And now this? A car with an absolute "F" grade for its crash test? Executing the head of the Food and Drug trade administration is not going to render you dependable! Try enforcing clean/safe manufacturing laws. This is getting ridiculous.

Old Man Kitteh

Cutest wake up snoozy kitteh evar! He's all little old mannish, stretching and covering his face...only to fall back asleep. Oh Cute Overload, how you do make me smile...

He's all like, :::shnooze::: "Oh! Wait, what?" :::shnooze:::

Boss Man

You wanna make fun of my blog for lacking substance and not grabbing
your interest? Hows this for substance! (Embarrassing internet retaliation
is the only way to play the game, my friend.)

Corn Lurver

I is LOVEZ corms!!11! SO much!!11!!1

Logo Lovin

Wanna try?

Lard-o-licious!

WTF?! | gigglesugar - Funny Videos & Humor.
This is a very good reason to be exceedingly happy, I think. I've never had a Krispy Kreme, for instance, but I'd imagine this is what all the hype is about?

LOLcat of the day!

I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER?



I is lovez them LoLcatz.

The WRONG WAY to use a stroller

WTF?! | gigglesugar - Funny Videos & Humor.




Really? So you mean if my baby is hanging out of the stroller in that fashion, depicted above, I'm not doing it right? ::scratches head:: Huuuuhh...well, alright.

New Diesel Campaign-- Human After All

Тщательно выстроенный мир новой кампании Diesel "Human after... Super sweet ads for new Diesel fashions. I specially love this one, with the guilty little man and his soccer ball. Of COURSE, posted to a Russian website, because Russian people are the awesomest.

iPhone Mania reaches a whole new low...

IPhone Mania: iPhone Shopping Bag Sells for $305 on eBay - G... Oh what the fuck. It's a bag, you dolts. A bag. I have no more words for this.
And, apparently, it sold for $305 on Ebay. That's no missing decimal either.

Maya= Beautiful Lady AND Powerful Software Application

Maya Makes Drinky Crow Show's Boozy, 2-D World Spin
I did not know that there is a program called Maya, a 3-D graphics and modeling software powerhouse owned by Autodesk, or that "Chances are that any CGI movie is made in Maya."

Reading about it at this site though, I particularly favored this quote, which is so cool----
"Maya has the ability to immerse you, to trick your brain."

My Birthday!

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Disney's Dickhead

Boing Boing: A Directory of Wonderful Things If you can't see the type on the letter, which came to a woman in 1938 who applied for a job cartooning for Disney, it essentially says that girls (and thats the wording they used, girls and young men) aren't allowed and that all the creative work is done by "young men." But I do LOVE that cute stationary,
eh? One of the Commenters on the post at BoingBoing said that in '97 she was turned down by a recruiter at a Brown job fair when she asked about jobs for a developer, writing code because "you're a girl." The guy got fired, but still...that was just 10 years ago, it says alot about the company dynamics and culture behind the carefully moderated PR scene. And you wouldn't necessarily expect it from such a family friendly, trusted old brand...or WOULD you, cause I've had many a conspiracy theorist tell me about the evil old ways of Walt Disney, the rumored anti-Semite, pedophile, devil worshipper and what else have you...

Microsoft Surface, AKA Big Ass Table

Techcrunch Funny parody of the Microsoft Surface press video, much enjoyed.

It's Like Looking into a Mirror

Tasty Kids

WTF?! | gigglesugar - Funny Videos & Humor.



Next time I make quesadillas I need to go out and buy some of that kid cheese. So tasty!  I love it.

Discount Stores, in a Nutshell

WTF?! | gigglesugar - Funny Videos & Humor.
Boy oh boy. This is laugh out loud retarded, you should have
seen me when I stumbled across it at work. A sight to see, fo 'sho.

Agreed.

Daily Kos: Bush should be tried as a war criminal after impe... Funny. I especially like the rendering of Condoleeza Rice and the Prez' very special thought bubbles.

Crazy Japanese Game Show

All I have to say is: who thought this up? And one other thing that comes to mind is...its strangely entertaining. American shows have NOTHING on these silly Japanese!

Shadow Art

the new shelton wet/dry
This is undoubtedly the coolest art I've seen in a bit. Imagine, thinking about how to arrange regular objects, sometimes TRASH even, to make the shadows look like this?

Or this?


Visit the link for everything. I'm still amazed.

The Yes Men

Exxon Will Burn PEOPLE For Fuel If Climate Calamity Hits Us ...
The Yes Men have struck again, this time at a GO-EXPO, Canada's largest oil conference. For those unfamiliar with the awesome Yes Men, these guys think up outrageous pranks that are designed to display corporate America's (and corporate everyone else') increasing despicability. At the oil conference, they snuck in pretending to be Exxon reps, and launched into a lengthy, detailed presentation of Exxons emergency management plan, about how they intended to keep the fuel pumping in the event of some enormous calamity-- they, of course, would melt down the bodies of the people INVOLVED in such a calamity, thereby recycling the billions of people right back into oil. Then they showed a PowerPoint of how the scientific procedure is accomplished...and then they handed out prototype candles, of which the wax was made from a janitor who wished to demonstrate the potential for the future. The point is, the executives sitting around listening to the pitch didn't bat an eye. They even lit their sample candles. Nobody even remotely SNIFFED OUT the prank until the Yes Men played a silly video of said Janitor expressing his interest in becoming the first human subject after his "accidental" death. Outrageous.

The picture is from their old prank at a textile conference hosted by the World Trade Organization. If the suit looks outrageous, you need to see the video, because it is. What we're turning into, all of us, slowly, is a dangerous thing. The Yes Men are out to reveal that, one prank at a time.

Microsoft Maths

An interesting article on Forbes’ website discusses a rivalry between Microsoft and Google. Want to know who they named the winner? Apple. If you didn’t quite get the math in that equation, let’s go over it together. Google brought a suit to the U.S. Justice Department complaining that Microsoft’s newest operating system, Vista, has a desktop search embedded within the program that is difficult to remove, essentially forcing Vista users to use the search engines instead of any others, namely, Google’s. While most analysts are calling the claim bogus and backing the argument up with carefully detailed instructions on how easy it is to remove the search function in question, should the user care to do so, the case is bringing back flashes from Microsoft’s shaky legal past.

In the early 1999, amidst accusations that the company had evolved into an ugly monopoly fit to take on and take out the competition, Microsoft was ordered to be split up by a federal judge. Bill Gates, however, went on to win an appeal, exchanging Microsoft’s freedom from a breakup for an agreement never to hinder rivals who build applications that can run on Windows. Enter Steve Jobs.

Forbes say, “For starters, Apple can now do all sorts of things with its operating system that are off limits for Microsoft.” And they have. From the introduction of iTunes, a software program for buying and organizing personal media that now comes built in, standard, with every Mac, to an Apple-brewed web browser, Safari, to embedding a search program, Spotlight, into a version of their operating system OS X.

One of the most buzzed about announcements at a recent World Wide Developers Conference (WWDC) on June 11 was the introduction of a Safari for Windows. Does Bill Gates have to stand for that?

The answer is yes. Microsoft is in a position, albeit probably not of a voluntary nature, where they have to keep their doors open to any Apple product that Jobs throws at them. At the same time that Apple ports a new browser into Windows, Microsoft is seeking to play the blame game too: Nate Anderson at Ars Technica points out that antitrust accusations fly both ways: Microsoft publicly objected to Google's $3.1 billion buyout of online ad system DoubleClick in April (see BusinessWeek.com, 4/14/07, "Google's DoubleClick Strategic Move"). The company charged that the deal would give Google as much as 85% of the online ad market. At the time, Microsoft said the buyout raised concerns about competition.

"Google has been playing the same game, but it has conducted its campaign in secret and directly with the federal government," writes Anderson. While they squabble, however, Apple is taking the cake. Especially with the upcoming release of the much anticipated iPhone, it seems as though most other tech happenings have fallen to the wayside. As Brian Caulfield at Forbes said, “Maybe Microsoft would have been better off breaking itself up.”

McJob McShit

Words: McDonalds Wants To Literally Redefine "McJob" - Consu...

Apparently, there is a whole word that was made up in the age of McDonalds that made its way into the dictionary, "McJob."
The McJob is defined as "a low-paying job that requires little skill and provides little opportunity for advancement," which makes sense, I guess. However, and this is a HUGE shocker to everyone, McDonalds is sending their lobbyists to work on this issue (because g*d knows they have nothing else to lobby about, right?) trying to change the definition to a job that "reflect a job that is stimulating, rewarding ... and offers skills that last a lifetime." All I have to say to that is
1. Get the Fuck outta here. Rewarding and stimulating? Only if the employees are allowed to sniff the glue on the underside of the boxes of frozen burgers they merrily tear into each day.
And
2. Who even uses the word McJob anyway, that this is such an issue?

Little Red Komputerz

Meme or Lame - Intel introduces 5-inch portable concept PC '...
While I don't think this is lame, I'm trying to envision someone sitting in a lecture, squinting into this tiny itty bitty wittle screen, and taking notes or...doing something else productive. While I know I'mhardly the target market for this handy dandy little gadget, I like to pretend I know everything and can talk it up as such...another picture portrays a less funny looking device overall---

Its like a huge sidekick. With that, my two cents is that its cool that this thing has wireless, GPS, and Bluetooth to boot, i dont think its got the appeal for what a little computer is meant to be used for. If you need fast productivity with interwebs, you get a blackberry. Lecture notes and paper writing require a more typical laptop...and this baby? Whats this baby for?

Menstrual Maya

This is how I feel when I get my period. Woe to us girls out there.

In light of recent horror

I cant get the Virginia Tech story out of my head, as rightfully I shouldn't, and niether should you. I'm not busy hating the gunman, or anything like that, I just cant help but imagine the terror associated with being there, the pain. I wonder, about fate-- did God mean those people to die that day? You know that saying, that all things happen for a reason. I dont even have words for this. There was another article, unrelated, in the paper this morning about a 91 year old man getting stung by 1000 bees and after his kidneys shut down and his face and body swelled to 4 times their normal sizes, he came out of it and hes still here. His daughter said, "We just have to be thankful for everyday that we wake up alive."
I told my mom on the phone today, "I love you," before hanging up. She asked me why I said that, all of a sudden, was I in trouble, and all those sorts of questions. I said, tearing up, "I was just trying to be more grateful."
She said, "Because of yesterday?"
And I said, "Yeah."

A long day's night...

Leo has a Macbook and I like the way the keys sound when I type so here I go:
10:36 pm Wednesday Feb 7

shiftless theres a space in me its begging
not knees on the floor tugging on pantleg type stuff
more like this gnaw, an urge
i stood in the shower and spread my lips wide open
and i found it, it was red and fat, juicy like a plum
i touched it and nearly fell
but i dont know where to run. it used to be this way
i would be somewhere
and i would think
and i would create a place to be and things to do
i would create all of this in my mind
and it was a rollin good time
and now im empty and running on empty
motions (s h i f t l e s s) eyes half closed and i cant find it.
i wrote this poem once about a track runner on speed and
you gotta wonder- where does this come from? wheres the muse,
an angel on my shoulder, the devil at my back-- wheres the source?
there's now, only here, this place, and me, and my fingers
there's a shower
there's work to be done, there's shivering, there's a longing
and then there's a hole. There's just this hole. Tear it open, it's begging for it.



<3,

Maya

Back by Popular Demand...

And by popular demand, I (of course) imply the curious but sweet comment by L, that I "should have a blog." Well, I used to have a diaryland, and I used to have a xanga...I used to be into all those online places...until I stopped. Thinking back to them days (when I was soooo young, suuuuch a baby, yeah?) Whimit was a huge deal. I just checked online and the site is still there, not a thing about it changed but for the disappointing community numbers. Back in the day (5-6 years ago) at any given point in time there would be tens of thousands of users logged on. Now theres 180. I checked my profile religiously...the whole idea of being russian, young, and online, it was so cool. Every guys picture had him posing with his shirt off, or else his finest russian gangster clothes. Every girl had a provocative outfit and lots of makeup. Everyone's text was formatted in alternating caps, lots of ~~~***~~~ that stuff going on... I guess people arent as into being Russian now. Myspace stole all the whimit users, along with the rest of the world...but what about the common thread? That doesnt matter anymore? One of whimits greatest appeals was that everyone on it was Russian. Some people even typed their profile in russian, and for whatever reason, that made it all the more fun. I must've went on like, 4 blind dates using whimit, lowering my inhibitions (and sometimes, standards) because I knew the kids online were russian...and I love me my Igors and Ivans. Now its gone with the wind, like Tomagotchis. **TeAr** rip whimit.